Cleveland, the Best Sports Fans with the Worst Teams

This past show’s Pants’ Power Rankings were about the best sports cities. A team is nothing without their fans. I, Pants (Glen), ranked the cities that have the best fans or the most diehard. Cleveland was ranked number one. Brett did not agree with me one bit. There was a heated debate; I mean argument, between him and me. I had to go off air and end the segment before something happened that we would regret. Brett was so furious at the ranking that he told me off air that he wanted to punch me.

Cleveland’s sports fans are the best in the nation, but they would also be ranked for the most moronic. The rock n’ roll city capital of the world proves that stupidity breeds superior fans. Cleveland’s teams are far from being the best sports teams. They are the most mediocre in the nation. The city is also the unluckiest. Cleveland has not win a title since 1964. The Browns have yet to even play in a Superbowl. The Indians have not won a World Series since 1948. The only thing that fans expect from their team is a below average season. It takes a special and rare breed of fans to follow teams that are not ever above decent. Cleveland’s mediocre teams and terrible luck proves that their fans are not fair-weather and exceptional.

Any mid-western city is passionate about their sports; however Cleveland’s passion is unlike any other city. This is probably the case because there is nothing else to do. The way I look at it is that if you do not live on the coast, you have given up on your life. These fans dream small so there is less disappointment in their lives. If they did have expectations they would be more disappointed than a middle school girl finding out that her crush is not interested in her or a kid finding out that Santa Claus is not real. Sports are Clevelanders’ livelihood. For them, life after sports is non-existent. They enjoy watching overpaid people under-perform catching a ball more than life itself.

 My heart goes out for Cleveland sports fans. Sports gives them hope and meaning in life when they cannot find it anywhere else. As soon as each Cleveland fan enters the gate, nothing else in life matters to them. More fans should be like Cleveland’s. They represent what sports are about.
Cleveland has the best sports fans.

-Glen

Pants' Power Rankings: Sports Cities With Best Fans